Old Friends

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Almost forty years ago my husband had a college roommate named Gregg. For two years they shared a room at their fraternity house and their senior year they rented an apartment together. Gregg asked his girlfriend Jodie to find a blind date for his roommate. I was the victim/winner depending upon your perspective. Jodie and Gregg were married in June after we graduated from college and my husband and I were married the following November. Fast forward thirty something years. In March 2009 Gregg showed up on our doorstep. He and his second wife were ending their marriage, they had sold their house, and Gregg was unemployed. He was estranged from his brothers and hadn’t spoken with his only daughter in ten years. Gregg had no money, no home, no job, no vehicle, and nowhere to go. He came to his old friends and we took him in.

Gregg lived with us for eight months. He shared our meals, watched TV with us every evening, and celebrated holidays with us. He partied with my children and their friends on Derby Day and joined us when we went out to dinner to celebrate the birthdays of various family members. Gregg borrowed my husband’s car to get to work when he finally found employment and borrowed clothes when needed. He drank too much, smoked too much, and worked too little. The older version of Gregg was a shadow of the person we had known. He called himself a minimalist because he had shed or lost everything he had and traveled with the few possessions that he owned. For eight long months we shared our home, our food, and our family with someone we had known for three brief years almost four decades ago. Gregg ultimately found employment in China teaching English as a second language and left on a new journey.

People have asked why we took Gregg in and how we were able to have someone live with us for so many months. The answer, of course, is how could we not. What kind of people would we be if we turned our backs on someone who didn’t have any options or resources? Wouldn’t we want someone to help us if we were in a similar situation? When I hear that someone is homeless or living in a shelter, I always ask myself, “Don’t they have family or friends?” Saying we believe in the Golden Rule and actually treating others the way we want to be treated may not always be easy or convenient. In the end, all we have is each other.

“A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.” ~Grace Pulpit
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