Gloom & Doom

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My daughter has a nickname for me: "Debbie Downer". Debbie was a fictional character on Saturday Night Live. The character developed into a slang phrase referring to anyone who spreads bad news and negative feelings, thus bringing down the mood of everyone around them. My Uncle Phil's wife, Aunt Francis, was the original Debbie Downer. My mother called her "the voice of gloom". The only time Aunt Francis ever called our family was to tell us that someone had died or some other bad thing had occurred.

I don't view myself as a Debbie Downer, but sometimes I hear about something that really bothers me or circumstances arise that so overwhelm me with negative feelings that I need to share with someone. Sharing often makes me feel better, but unfortunately, it also has the effect of ruining someone else's day.

The past few days have been rainy and gloomy. The constant rain and the inability to enjoy my garden have caused me to dwell on several situations over which I have no control. First, the baby elephant at the Louisville Zoo died. Scotty was a favorite of staff and visitors, and I remember taking pictures of him the last time I visited the zoo. Knowing that this oversize baby is gone make me extremely sad.

Second, shelters have been killing animals without giving them time to be adopted or rescued. Spring is puppy and kitten season which means shelters are overflowing with unwanted babies, pregnant animals, and animals with babies. My anger and frustration with ignorant, irresponsible humans is boundless. People are dumping animals using every lame excuse and several shelters have flooded which has caused overcrowding in other shelters and overburdened rescues. One rescue, that has helped a previously high kill shelter become low kill, may have to close due to financial difficulties. When I try to talk to family members about all the needless suffering and situations over which I have no control, they tell me they don't want to hear about it.

Probably the real reason I feel down is that Paws, my 13 year old cat, is fading away before my eyes and there is nothing I can do about it. During the past several weeks Paws has lost half her body weight. She has gone from being strong and robust to frail and skeletal. Her voice, which used to be loud and conversational, is soft and weak. I force feed Paws several times a day to keep her from dehydrating and I go to bed ever night fearing that she will be dead in the morning. It hurts me to look at what she has become, but it hurts me more to think about losing her.

I don't want to be a Debbie Downer. I want to focus on what is good in life and the things that make me happy, but even on the sunny days when all is well with the world, there is always a cloud nearby waiting to cast a shadow. If listening to another person eases a pain or lessens a burden, my ears and shoulders are waiting. I would like to think others would be willing to do the same for me.

“Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow” ~Swedish Proverb

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