Inspiration? Motivation?

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“My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said 'Just wait.'” ~Judy Tenuta

When I began this 365 days of change project, I thought it would be easy: just do one thing every day. I was enthusiastic, I was inspired, I was ready to take on the world and become a new me. The reality is humbling. I feel overwhelmed. My website needs updating, the house is begging for a spring cleaning, the yard keeps beckoning me to plant, weed, and water, and the clutter I want to eliminate is a constant reminder of my lack of initiative.

I don't know what is more difficult: fitting in something new, starting a project I have been avoiding, or finding something to write about. When I am working in the yard, cleaning the house, or exercising I am inspired. I have ideas of subjects I want to write about, my thoughts are clear and well-formed (or so they seem as they rattle around in my head), and I am anxious to write something down. However, as soon as I sit at my computer or try to outline my ideas on the back of an envelope, the thoughts evaporate. When I am at the computer, I tell myself I will just do one more thing and then I will wash the windows, sweep the patio, or spend 15 minutes cleaning out a drawer or closet. Twenty minutes later I am still at the computer doing one more thing that can't wait. Before I know it the whole day has passed and I haven't accomplished anything. Every day it's the same story.

At night I can't sleep. I think of all the projects I should have started, all the weight I should have lost, and all of the people I should have "reached out and touched." The days, weeks, and months are flying by. Wasn't it January 1st a week ago when I made my New Year's resolutions? What happened to Lent and my pledge to give up sweets and bread? I have always been proud of the fact that I finish what I start, but I am beginning to realize I never get started! It's late, but not too late. Tonight I am Scarlett O'Hara. I'm not going to think about the past. I am not going to worry about today and the missed opportunities." After all, tomorrow is another day"
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