Dreading the Decade

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Having your birthday coincide with a decade is convenient. It is easy to remember how old you without really thinking about it. Unfortunately, the significant birthdays that mark a passage of sorts have also been years of change and, more often than not, tragedy. My sole surviving grandparent died when I was 20. When I turned 30 I went through some sort of crisis/soul searching. I had been married eight years, was childless, and was stuck in a dead end job. It was that year I decided to go to law school and within a few months discovered I was pregnant with my first child. Forty was a year I would like to forget: my mother and my father-in-law died within six weeks of each other, my husband lost his job, and I was involved in an auto accident while driving my three children to piano lessons, totaling my Volvo station wagon. I don't remember my fiftieth birthday at all. There was no celebration. My only sibling, who hasn't spoken to me in years because she decided I was not part of her family, sent me a birthday card which I do remember throwing in the trash.

I did not look forward to 2010. Unfortunately, this 60th year of my life is staying true to the pattern. The year is only half-way through and my family has suffered two significant losses: two of our eight cats have died within a two month period. Paws, our 14.5 year old cat died in May. Last week Spot, one of our foster cats who never found a forever home, became ill. His death was unexpected and I am having a difficult time trying to understand why this had to happen. My son B is taking the loss even harder than me since Spot and his family have been his daily companions. I don't like being blind-sided, I don't like change, and I don't like the fact that many things in life are beyond our control.

TRIBUTE~ Last night my family buried our three year old cat d'Artagnan aka Spot/Clumpy. He had been at the vet’s office for almost a week undergoing treatment for a urinary tract infection/blockage. Yesterday he unexpectedly took a turn for the worse and died. We are devastated. This is the second loss our family has suffered in two months. Our 14 year old cat Paws left us in May. Spot is survived by his mother and five siblings who were going to be killed on a tobacco farm in rural Kentucky. R.I.P. Spot - Three short years were not enough ~ July 2007 - July 13, 2010

"Whole years of joy glide unperceived away, while sorrow counts the minutes as they pass." ~William Havard
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